RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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