I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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