Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
