I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
