um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
