We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
