Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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