Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
