so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
