Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
