I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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