My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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