i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
