think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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