im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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