Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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