she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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