Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
