Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
