Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
