he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
