Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
