she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
