That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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