god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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