We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
