Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I came so hard my ears popped.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
