just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
