your parents love me but you hate me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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