Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
