I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
