All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
