I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
