I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
