You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
