is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i drank out of a bidet.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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