Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
