whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
