I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
