Are we in a gay sports bar?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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