Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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