It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have feelings that need drinking.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize