I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
