I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
