If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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