I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
