Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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