if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
