PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
