True but thats because hes a fetus.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
